"i don't like sam in there when i am cooking for safety reasons."
I'm trying to think what they could be. Sharp knives? Give child one of those ancient blunt little kitchen knives we somehow all have one or two of, which hardly cut anything, and have him help you chop the veggies?
Dangerous objects in low cupboards? Either move them higher and safe things lower, or get those cupboard fasteners from mothercare
Kettle lead? Attach it to the wall so child can't pull boiling water on their head
Hot pans? I learned at my mother's knee to keep the pan handles tucked inwards so you can't pull them off the cooker
I don't think it's ever too soon to teach your child about hot rings and hot water in safe ways - putting a ring on and holding them far enough away to be safe but close enough to feel the heat, and explaining "hot", or whatever. candles are very good for learning about heat.
In your situation I'd be finding ways of making it possible for my child to come in the kitchen safely - because there's going to come a time when no part of the house is a no-go area, so why not work out how to make that possible as soon as you can? - and I'd be finding really cool things to amuse them safely while they are in there. Some salt and flour and food colouring and water? (make his own playdough) or a basin of water and some plastic mugs for pouring at the sink (And when itgoes on the floor, you just mop it up and feel smug because you mopped your kitchen unlike the rest of us)
"i don't want sam wandering or playing the kitchen period, so he has to learnHe thinks you're wrong about that. That's why he cries.
this, it is a boundary or rule i am setting him. i am happy for him to have his
own way on lots of things but not the kitchen. this is just my choice to keep
him out of harms way"
He might be right.